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Category: Chutzpah
Question: Hi, I have been having issues with chutzpa with my 8 yr old daughter lately. I tried to tell her to rephrase her words but it's not working and it's only getting worse. She is becoming more and more defiant and disrespectful. I feel that there has become very much of a power struggle. Can you please advise me how to deal with this issue. Thank you in advance
Answer: you do not write if there has been any change in c...
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Category: Aggression
Question: Dear Slovie,
A Mom of a 3 year old thatI know was apalled that her child had a tantrum in the mall wearing a yalmake. She felt the incident was such a "chillel Hashem." I know its normal for 3 year olds to have tantrums in the mall but in what way would I ask her to respond to the "chillel Hashem part."
Answer: The problem is not the child having a tantrum as m...
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Category: Aggression
Question: A friend heard a lecture in Westchester. I live in Montclair NJ and would love to attend a workshop- do you ever come to NJ?
I am halfway through the book and welling up every few pages!
Answer: thank you! i have monthly classes in westchester a...
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Category: Communication
Question: Hi Slovie.I was referred to your site by a friend after I called her with a difficult question.Here goes:I am married w 5 children BH and consider myself pretty observant along w my husband,although we do not share similar hashkafot.He is more liberal where I am definitely more right wing.Parenting children with our differences is not easy but lately one issue has been taking a toll in particular.Our television does not work and out of respect for me,my husband never fixed it nor renewed our cable.However,we have a family relative who provided us w about 5000 movies on a hard drive. When my children want to watch tv,it is either looney tunes via intenet or one of thousands of movies that we have.I found a rating system on the internet that rates movies based on 3 catagories:sex/nudity,violence,and profanity.In the beginning, it was easy to use.I would look up a movie and see if the first and last catagories were 3 and under (on a scale of 1 to 10)and allow it even if the middle category,violence,was a 7.(For example 2.7.3)I allowed such movies even for my ten yr old.I felt that if I had to give in somewhere,it's with the violence. The rating system is a way for me not to watch every movie he asks me about.However,the other day he asked me about a movie with the same rating as one he watched in the past but it was rated R.My son saw how angry I became at him for even asking, and at my husband for allowing it.(Interesting to note that my son came and asked me after my husband told him yes)I do not even let him watch pg13.My husband feels that what I am doing is too arbitrary-forbiding one movie with the same numerical rating as another just because its rated R.I feel that allowing an R rated film will just open the door to worse.So,how do i decide what movies are allowed and which arent?It seems like I can not rely on the rating system i found especially because if i allow a certain numerical rating once,my kids expect me to allow it thereafter.The second question is how many hours or how many movies is a fair number for a child to watch on a weekend?I don't allow any during the week.I would love to get rid of them all but that is not a realistic or fair option..The catch is that I end up feeling resentful and angry when I see my kids watching something.My blood starts to boil!I always wanted to raise my children without all of this "stuff" but my husband thinks i am over reacting.What is a happy medium?
Answer: You and your husband must get on the same page her...
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Category: Communication
Question: there is a translation to hebrew of this book?
Answer: not right now, so sory
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Category: Communication
Question: B"H
I am reading your book is incredible,I always say the first paragraph of shema with my children. they complain about having nightmares and I read the first paragraph of ahema al a mita Areini soleach.... I also saing Hamalach hagoel and explain them about the malachim and when they woke up they said they sleep well and they had been behaving very good today.
thank you
Answer: what a beautiful email! thank you so much!! may yo...
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Category: Communication
Question: Dear Slovie
I have a 15 year lovely son , he is big baal middos always helping people and doing favors and very popular amongst his friends. The only thing is, he is not so into his learning and finds it hard to get up in the morning for davening, and when he is in shul does not give his davening full concentration and does not make his learning always a priority. The Problem really is that this upsets my husband terribly especially after coming home from shul on a friday night, where my husband sometimes compares him to other boys in shul and says, why cant you be like so and so and take things more seriously and so on.Which leads to friction often at the shabbos table, which then unfortunately spills over into the atmosphere, and affects the shabbos table and the other kids.This happens regularly and I feel tense when I hear the knock on the door and I see my Husband face, I feel like here we go again. . I am a big believer in good middos being the most important thing in a person and I B"H can truly see this in my son, and I believe that not every boy is cut out to be a big Talmid Chochom. I try to make my husband see my point of view, but I also see very much where he is coming from. What I find upsetting that it affects the relationship between my husband and son and I'm worried that by constantly telling him off about these issues he is not encouraging to improve his ways.
I hope I have voiced my concern clearly. Thank you in advance for your time.
All the best
S.
Answer: Dear S.,
i understand your predicament, and know ...
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Category: Communication
Question: Hello Slovie, I want to know if you translated your book to spanish, because we have your mother's in spanish and its great.
Answer: thank you so much for your email-it is not transla...
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Category: Communication
Question: Hi hope all is well. Thank you for giving us a chance to ask our questions.I have a daughter who is 10yrs old and the oldest and when i ask her to do things in the house she is always complaining "why do i have to do it?" and i do explain b/c mommy can count on you etc...but she doesnt seem to understand. she is also very competitive and i feel the more i give of myself to her the more she wants my attention and wants to have the most of anything we give b/c she says "im the oldest and made u parents first then the rest of the kids came" she truly is mature in many ways but i feel she has too much rivarly, and b/c i love her i want to eliminate the feeling of jalousy from her and make her feel good about helping. how can i go about it? Thanking you in advance S
Answer: Dear S.,
Being the eldest means that we expect ce...
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Category: Challenges
Question: Hello,
I just brought your book and enjoying reading it very much. I have a 12 year old girl, I work full time and recently got divorced (without going into the reasons - the divorce was necessary). I've read the 1st chapter only today, but so far it talks about the family as 2 parents together. That's not how my family will be and I was wondering if you could address the challenges of divorced parents. Thank you so much.
Answer: Of course there are challenges that you face, but ...
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