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Question:
Slovie i have a child in grade 1 and whenever i pick him and his carpool up they (all 4)hound me about buying then shlurpees after school. This bothers me for a no. of reasons but i can never come up with a good response other than annoyance. I dont want 4 kids wining at me every carpool, i feel that they should ask their own moms not me, i feel that i shouldnt feel harassed to buy them shlurpees but can never come up with an appropriate response other than giving in very unhappily or else being the mean mom.Yesterday one of the kids said to me my mom will never buy us so you should!!When i dont buy them i feel like the meanest mom in the world on the other hand i should not feel hararsed to spend $10 every carpool and i have 4 other childrens carpool the same week.
Answer:
It is obvious to me that the children sense a weakness in your response or they would not keep hounding you. I am not blaming you, rather I am asking you to examine your reaction. Are your 'no's' really "NO" or is it a response that elicits doubt. If the children see that you are unsure of yourself or if they can tell that you feel guilty for no slurpees then of course, you will be the mother who keeps on getting the request. After all, you are the mother that they think will give in. You yourself write "I feel like the meanest mom in the world". Here is the problem. As far as a solution goes, you must first convince yourself that you are not mean or guilty. Then with newfound confidence, explain that you are driving carpool, not slurpee patrol. Once the children see that you are serious and mean it, they will stop hounding you. You may even find that you improve on your own discipline in your home with your new, sure, attitude.
best,
slovie
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